Friday, April 13, 2012

Goodbye Anger!

http://www.drjeanetteraymond.com/

Have you ever been to a point of being angry enough to lose the cool? What I mean is something like wanting to strangle a person for stating the obvious or probably because you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed pushing you to be irrational for the next 24 hours? Too bad I'm one of them. 

I can't say it's with the genes since my dad was also hot tempered but regardless to its origin, I don't see anything right about it. So I am taking an effort to correct this attitude to make my life way better.

As I googled for articles about anger management, I came across a write up of the American Psychological Association. I was glad that the article wasn't too technically written and in lay man's terms for everyone's better comprehension.

The basic anger release is expressing, suppressing and then calming.  

  * Expressing is not being aggressive but rather, assertive. Because in the first place only you can identify what it is you want to happen to avoid conflict. Unexpressed anger usually is the more dangerous one because the problem will never be resolved since it's never discussed, getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on. I have to admit, I belong to this category which could actually kill meaningful relationships.

  * Suppressing is mainly holding on your anger and diverting your attention into something positive. Too bad if you are surrounded with a chaotic environment that you just have to look deeper into yourself to find your "happy place". 

  * Calming refers not only to the external behavior but it also compliments the internal behavior of your body such as a steady blood pressure to soothe your way to the process.

 Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger, if all these fails then  someone—or something is going to get hurt. 

Here's the Best part of the article. It discusses about the different ways to keep anger in a manageable level.

  * RelaxationBreathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

  * Cognitive RestructuringLogic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life.

  * Problem SolvingMake a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

  * Better Communication - It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

  * Using Humor - Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.

  * Changing Your Environment - Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful.
With all these alternatives, no one could say, "I didn't have a choice!" 

For the full article here's the link: http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx#

Monday, April 02, 2012

A Movie Worth Watching (Again!)

http://www.hcrefund.com/forums/showthread.php?t=198663&page=144

Last night, while browsing on my collection of ignored dvd's, I came across a movie that I haven't watched for like 7 years and to my surprise, it was still working. I didn't even realized then that it was a Lenten season presentation, just fit for the coming Holy Week. The movie was the only Robin Padilla one that I have and it costars Johnny Delgado, Rufa Mae Quinto and directed by Mark Meily.

http://www.clickthecity.com/movies/?p=4583
La Visa Loca is about a Jess, played by Robin Padilla, who has been aiming to get a US Visa in order to be with his fiance but failed to pass in the interview. The whole concept of the movie is the protagonist's perseverance to find ways just to get a visa up to the point that he lets himself be a "Kristo", the one to be nailed on the cross. 

One may find the movie light-surfaced but beneath it all, I know for one that a lot of Filipinos would smile and somehow relate to one of the characters. Like Johnny Delgado's character for instance. He plays the stubborn father of Robin who lied of his wife's true state in order to hide the fact that she abandoned them to live with an American just to live her dream. 

http://www.clickthecity.com/movies/?p=4583
Evangeline Pascual, who plays Robin's mother, showed a common obnoxious attitude of a Filipina that happens to curse Filipinos like she isn't one, now that she is tied up with an American. I've seen this in real life. Seeing those who marry foreigners who just forgot where they came from can sometimes give me chills. 

Various scenes made me end up with a grin on my face, like the one at a strip club where the establishment did not serve red meat because it's Holy Week as the strippers go on with their show like they would do every night. 

Scenes at the US embassy although a bit exaggerated, were also fun to watch. Like one interviewee who said that he wants to go to the US to see snow but his destination is Hawaii. I laughed hard on this because I know this would happen if the applicant was not properly briefed by his or her travel agent. I've been interviewed once and I can say that the shrugged shoulders were a normal sight for those who got denied while to those who made it, either they would jump for joy or brag of their victory outside the embassy.

All in all, Thumbs up to La Visa Loca. A movie worth watching over and over again. Thank God I found the dvd!

Have a safe Holy Week everyone.